I smoke, and have done for most of my adult life. I know that for myriad reasons I should try to stop, but at the moment I'm caught between two views.
Stopping smoking, apart from the health and lifestyle advantages, would provide a much-needed boost to my self-esteem and self-respect, would be a real big positive achievement, might help me be more socially confident and drop the 'outcast' self-image that I seem to pursue all the time. I'm sort of a 'secret smoker', and to get that destructive daily lie out of my life would be great.
But.. is this the time? Whilst I am fighting depression and social anxiety, with a stress threshold down to zero, and on medication, should I be taking on a task that, short term at least, will put my body through chemical changes and subject me to more stress, draw on my meager reserves of strength and will? For all its ruinous qualities, smoking does provide me with a crutch, a small relief from stress, a breathing (coughing!) space. And if I fail, it's one more thing to beat myself up about, one more proof of my weakness, inability to succeed at anything, and general worthlessness. Shoukd I be taking on another battle right now? The rewards would be so great, but I don't kid myself it would be easy, it's such an ingrained part of my lifestyle.
Anyone here been in a similar situation?