Hi Vicky,
I am sorry to read you did not have a happy birthday. I can see why you would be disappointed. Here are some questions I had when reading your post...
- If your family did not care why would they bother to give gifts at all?
- Does getting thoughtless gifts mean you are worthless? What other explanations could there by for them getting thoughtless gifts? (Were they busy? Did they think the gifts were thoughtful?)
- How else do they show their love for you?
- If you were to talk to them about this what would you say?
- People express love in many ways (gifts, acts of service, affection, spending time with someone, communication). Could it be that they put greater value on other ways to express love?
- If your sister or partner was depressed and had the same thoughts, what advice would you give them?
- What are some positive memories you have with your family where you felt loved?
- Have they given nice gifts before? If so, what was different about those times? If not, then could it be they are not very good at giving gifts or perhaps do not think it is a big priority in how they express love?
- Are you using any cognitive distortions that may be colouring your thinking? (should statements, black and white thinking, etc)
Let us know how you are doing with these tough negative thoughts.
Ashley, Health Educator
