Hello to all who read this. For about the past month or so I have been suffering with severe depression/anxiety and even a little agorophobia. If you read some of my other posts you will see, I was in a very very bad place. All depressions are different and I will not trivialize what anyone is going through by saying I had the worst depression ever because that is just not true....but for me, it was one of my worst. However, I pushed through...I loved when I didn't want to love...I went to work when I didn't want to work and all I could do was sit and stare at my computer and cry most of the time, i sought help from friends, family, psychologists, and psychiatrists when I thought help was impossible. I must say, I am doing much much better now. I have been prescribed new meds and was scared to death of them, but I trusted my psychiatrist at the time because I didn't know what else to do but now because I know he understands and knows what he is talking about. I won't say I don't ever cry...I won't say I don't ever get discouraged...I won't say the negative thoughts have completely gone away....but what I will say is that it has gotten a lot easier. I enjoy being at work now, I enjoy relaxing at home with my fiance, I enjoy being around friends and family and I even enjoy being by myself again. For so long, it seemed I was so confused...I didn't know up from down, who I loved, what I loved, what I cared about or what really mattered. I would say something or think something and then the next minute doubt it. I never thought I would know who I truly was again. I now look forward to the future, to tomorrow....I don't just look forward to every night when I can crawl in bed, go to sleep and make it go away for a little while. I feel like myself again. I don't feel like a failure for going through this, for being on meds or for reaching out for people when I needed them. If anything, I feel stronger for pushing through...and you all should too. I know if the situation were reversed, which for my friends sake, I hope it never is, I would want to be there for them the same way they were there for me. I'm realizing now that it is human nature to want to help others but also to feel vulnerable and need help too. I remember reading messages like this whe
