I know I have made a few posts about my situation with panic, anxiety, OCD and depression since I joined, but lately it's been all of them.
I know I often get Seasonal Affective Disorder, and I always look forward to spring and then summer, when it's going to subside. But this summer the disorder seems to be really hanging on. I started having trouble going into large stores like Whole Foods and Publix Super Market here in Florida, for fear that I'd be stuck and panic in front of everyone and also suffer the after effects like depression, more anxiety, increased OCD and dissociation/derealization.
That's pretty much where I sit now after a few months of on again feeling good and off again feeling bad, as the cycle goes. Of course, with these types of things, I get the confusion and short term memory problems.
What I find this time is that several types of thoughts are causing my panic. Anything from worries of real dangers of the world, fear of mortality (a major source of much of my anxiety throughout my life), and also stupid thoughts.
But I am venting here, and it actually feels good. I have tried to schedule an appointment with my therapist. I have not been able to get over her way for a while now (It's almost an hour away). And then, each time I email to want to schedule an appointment, I start to feel better.
Much of what is bothering me now is that my vacation is ending. I go back to work tomorrow. We went to Key West for nearly 3 days. We also have some pet issues. We've been taking care of my in-law's bird, our ill guinea pig and now the vet gave us a turtle to nurture back to health. It's only a hatchling. Someone brought it to the vet injured. It was found in the wild. Can't get it to eat. But we are optimistic about it.
Anyway, I know I can get past this. Just takes positive thinking and no panic.
OK, thanks for listening. I am gonna go.
David