Glad to hear about the successful outing. Success comes in small steps, so be gentle with yourself. Let us know how things are going, since we're all on that journey
I apologize for not returning your lovely email. I am still learning to navigate around this website. My trip to work went very well, better than I expected. Many of my co-workers dropped by to see me when they heard my voice. I felt it was a huge weight off my shoulder. I do have people who care and are not mean.
It's inspiring to hear of the positivty of many of the people at your workplace, since I found it became so negative.
When I say it's inspiring, i mean for me, selfishly. If you could work one-on-one to tailor things to your needs, it would be perfect. It's hard to do this sort of thing online. I'd like to hear back from you, though.
I am planning to go to my place of employment, I've been off work 17 months with depression and anxiety. So I have been avoiding my workplace as I had a "event" occur there. Anyhow I have decided to return to the "scene of the crime" haha. Anyhow I have decided to go there with the goal of reducing my physical and emotional reaction when I think about work and the last time I was there. There are friends and co-workers who are encouraging me to come in.
Any suggestions to reduce my anxiety or sit with it?
That is really something that you are able to keep your attacks a secret while riding on the train. That must be so difficult. If you couldn't tell from the forums, I tend to talk a lot - I am pretty open (probably to a fault) about my anxiety. With people that I don't feel like I can share the details of my disorder, I usually say that I am nervous. For example, if we have large meetings at work, I usually ask to sit at the end of a row, because I get rather claustrophobic when I don't. Everyone has been very understanding. I am surprised at how many people I meet who also have had experiences with anxiety. It is so nice to not feel alone in having these feelings.
I have a friend that I ride the train with but I have not revealed to him about my panic attacks so when I have a panic attack and he is talking to me, it is very hard to focus and I begin to focus on escaping. I'm really working on improving my reactions when I have a panic attack but it is hard. The whole disorder is very hard.
Wonderful to hear you are doing exposure work. Taking it slowly is key so that you don't become overwhelmed, but with time you will learn strategies that work for you to help you overcome your fears.
What could you do to keep yourself occupied while traveling on the train? For example, listening to music, reading the paper or doing a sudoku puzzle? Anything to help focus your thoughts?
My exposure work is coming along, slowly but surely. One of the most difficult things for me is taking the train because that is where most of my attacks occur and I can't escape when I'm on the train. So far the hardest part is not distracting myself when I am having a panic attack. It was always my thought to think of something else so that my mind shys away from the panic and I can become better faster. Actually sitting and letting my body go through the symptoms of panic is so hard and so scary. That is something I really need to learn how to do better!
