I have now officially gone back to work on a reduced schedule. The first 2 days were ok, the 3rd not so good. mainly because the insomnia is back. The ativan is not working anymore and I have exhausted my resources in regards to CBT and natural approaches. I use my changeways relaxation CD. I feel like I will never get better. I have to work for the sake of my kids. I support them. It's horrible when these lows hit and I feel so useless and worthless.
I want to be in recovery. I know its not as bad as at its worst place. But I'm scared. I am addicted to my nighttime ativan as it is and clearly my antidepressants aren't working. I'm scared to death to transition off the zoloft I have been on for 10 years. Fear of side effects I remember being worse than the anxiety disorder.
I'm scared. I have to go to my GAD group today. I have 3 days off and then 4 back on again....I hardly made it through 3 this week. How do I make it through 4????
Lack of sleep or simply broken sleep, waking up after only a couple hours etc just compounds this. I don't think I can do this anymore...I really don't.....I give up.
