Thanks, guys, for the replies. lol. I'm a poet and I didn't even know it. Wait! That was a different thread. ;)
I think everyone is right. I think it's the change of seasons. I think it's the blahs. I think I'm tired of working at this. I'm tired of thinking about it all the time. I'm tired of hesitating anytime I'm in a situation where I need to tell someone I don't smoke anymore. It's true I don't want to smoke. It's also true that I do. I just want to feel normal. I'm exhausted from quitting. I'm angry that my dad, who I finally told this weekend, responded to me by saying "for how long, ten minutes?" And when I told him it had been six weeks he said, "oh, your mother wants to talk to you."
I am going to re-read the thread about No man's land as well as the other Penguin suggested. Thanks, Penguin! :)
I was thinking that what I really want is to "check out" for a while. I think when I used to do that it was always in my bedroom with a cigarette. Just get away from everyone and everything and smoke and relax.
You guys are right. I need to do something relaxing for myself, by myself.
I am going to take doodles advice and go to bed now. Tomorrow will be better, I'm sure. The kiddo has a soccer game tomorrow afternoon. Those always pump me up. I'll take him to dinner after. Just him and me. He deserves some rewards himself for putting up with my cranky a$$ the past 45 days.
:)
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]8/25/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 44
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,320
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $257.40
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 11 [B]Seconds:[/B] 55