The other morning, I had a spontaneous moment of gratitude over the fact that I have quit smoking. I'm not sure that anything in particular prompted it. It was just this, 'Wow, I am so glad that I don't have to do that anymore." And then I was like, "Boy, I should have taken care of that habit a long time ago. I can't believe I let that go on for so long."
A year ago, I couldn't imagine ever saying or thinking such things. I think my primary emotions surrounding quitting were fear and dread.
Six months ago, I was glad to have gotten through the initial hell of withdrawal, but I was still working pretty hard at maintaining a positive attitude. Most days, I thought about smoking a few times, but not for too long. I was pleasantly surprised at how little I did actually think about it, though.
Three months ago, I was thinking about smoking about 50% of days, and then it was usually only once or twice for a short time. I was mostly feeling pretty free of it, but had a few demoralizing moments.
I don't think about smoking at all now for the majority of days. That has been true for the past couple of months.
And then I had that smokers dream recently--the one in which I usually smoke and feel bad about it, but I didn't smoke the last time. And then I had that spontaneous feeling of joy and gratitude. I didn't have to work for that feeling this time. It just came over me. And I kind of felt like a kid on the beach, all excited about life.
It really does get better and better. Keep that in mind as you struggle with those beginning days, and even when you hit the doldrums a few months in. It will get better. It does get better. You will get better.
