CHANGE OCCURS when the FEAR of staying the same is GREATER than CHANGING.
I mean I really don't even know you...but I see all kinds of positives in your life. Your wife just made it through surgery, you have an awesome daughter that is likely to carve out a place in the world for herself and YOU, YOU have the enviable position of being able to help shape the minds of our future!!!
You are healthy and your child is...and it looks as though your wife will be too, again soon.
I came from a ****py chilhood too...but so what..I can't change it..the only thing I can change is to not let it drag me down. It seems as though you've spent a considerable time in the past AND future...what if what if...to death....ARGGGGGG
When will you start living in the present? It's up to you, you know. If you're waiting for permission, then better give it to yourself soon. I used to believe that I've waited for my whole life for my life to begin..because I did what you do...live in the past and the future...Focussing ON the present, is what living is about, I think. NOT what might happen tomorrow, 10 yrs from now...or even an hour from now..YOU most likely CAN'T control it anyway...so WHY IS IT CONTROLLING YOU? Because it's familiar, it's a habit, and you allow it to.
JUST like my smoking...I know what I will have to go through to quit....and I've done it before. But it's a habit, I'm familiar with it...hahahaha...but I WILL one day do it again, and likely soon.
Thanks for asking though...
I'd tell ya to hang in there...but I don't like that phrase anymore. I want to do more than just hang in there....I want to soar to where ever life takes me..unafraid, and knowing I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN CONTROL MY OWN DESTINY....YOU CAN TOO... :)
Stop making excuses and take charge of your life...it's the only one you'll (I'll) ever have.