The truth is, I am scared out of my mind. I am really truly frightened. I have a history of depressions and panic disorder and GAD. I know what it is like to live life in a deep dark pit for years on end. I am afraid to go into full post-partum, if I am not there yet, and get stuck therefor years to come. Then what kind of wife will I be? What kind of mother? What kind of life would I have? I am so scared it's literally crazy making. I am not sure what to do and where to turn. I can'T afford private therapy sessions and our public system is less than stellar. I gave birth on Thursday and was sent home Saturday morning with no mobility (lumbar pain and sciatica), no help, nothing. My baby is in the neonatal care unit and I am having trouble just going to see him once a day. I feel 2 seconds away from a panic attack all the time. I cry all the time. I am SCARED!!!
