deb, I'm fine, ty and how are you?
I'm still having sleep issues; my friend who I was going to go see Thursday and play golf with on Friday had a medical issue come up and so I won't see him until Friday (maybe some golf in the weekend somewhere, who knows?) We gotta take care of ourselves and that takes priority over golf.
It was awesome getting to see my son, he did a great job, lol, now I see where he can use those arguing skills he had growing up. I mean I kind of suspected he was applying them there - now I know. lol, he was made to argue respectfully at home; and he does so there well. lol It ended up being two days. As you know things just take so much energy. He was focused on what he was doing so I was in the background - faded, I hope, but some of the detectives who were there kept me entertained (conversation during breaks). I was just wanting to fade into the background but I am sure they were just trying to be polite. It's not like there is a packed courtroom. Just me and the victims family. I came home and went to sleep so exhausted and slept maybe 4 hours both nights. The best night I've had of sleep is the night I Forgot my meds.
Ya know deb, the not sleeping thing wouldn't make me feel so bad, if it wasn't just the opposite the whole entire time I've had major depression.
A/D does mean alcohol and drug treatment facility. lol, my son says I get 'em out of jail, he puts 'em in and vice versa. It's true somewhat. I work because I need to; I make myself do these things. I have to havea conversation with myself. My mom always told me that was fine, unless I answered myself. lol I do that too. Anyway, I must talk my self into it. I say yes, because I know I need to then I psych myself up for it and then most of the time I do follow through with it.
My granddaughter is a beautiful 3 year old who loves me and wants to come visit me (they live a whole 7 miles away) and I can't have her up here because I'm stalled on the house renovations and too many dangerous things around. She keeps asking and I keep telling her soon. I do see her with my son and daughter-in-law and go out there to keep her some. I think motherhood was/is the most magnificant thing there is (it gets better everyday and he'll be 31 this year; grandmother hood, is more awesome.
that's so sweet you son crawling into bed with you and shared his happiest dream ever. Cherish the moments; they don't stay young long....but remember it only gets better!
I'm still depressed, know I 'm going to get to start working outside; have this weekend planned; taking the dog ot the kennel so I'll have a break from her; though she is welcome where we are going. I'm just hanging in there and sometimes it just seems by a thread. I slept after I got back from the trial. Woke up and now it's 3:15 a.m. and I can't go back to sleep. I have things to get done before I go out of town - uh, clean clothes would be nice, taking the trash out, sweeping the floor (my new floor) which hasn't been done. I got it fixed and I don't want to - that's not right - I do want to just don't have it to do it. I called someone to come and give me a price on cleaning. I think I can afford it and I deserve it and then it won't weigh on my mind.
I'm rambling not been posting alot.....how does that saying go; sometimes I sits and sometimes I sits and thinks.
Thanks for telling me I'm inspirng, lol, I don't feel that way right now. I sometimes get days where I do and know I'll get better again. I just ha
