Wildcat, you deserve high honours for your successes! It's really good to read about how well you're doing. Best wishes for your!
Panda, it's great to hear that you've begun to make progress in so little time. Kudos for putting forth the effort, it's not always easy. Keep up with your exercise to make it a habit. You won't regret it and it makes you feel so much better!
Hi Panda II & Wildcat,
Glad to see that you are becoming more active and getting back on track..........one step at a time.
It's great to learn more about ourselves each day and to do things we thought we wouldn't be able to do again with the same enthusiasm and hope.
It is important also to take note of the beauty and positive things that surround us so that we can draw from that and live more happy moments.
Faryal, Health Educator
I realize that I'm in my very early days of This Program, however this morning I did 8 minutes of yoga stretching and about 1/2 hour riding my bike and breathing heavy.Before that for 8 months I did nothing
A year ago I did way more than that but got off the track.
This x-size could be change of meds but also starting to do something with the CBT.
you would not believe how nice it is to have normal worries. I have the impression of having been in a concrete room with projectors showing those desaster movies for 3 years. I have worn a circle in the wooden floor running round and round. I keep looking at the two chairs in the middle on the room where doctors kept coming in to tell me that this would pass. They kept telling me that this was a symptom. They saw nothing. They did not understand what was there.
and today the door is open, and I am finally peering outside.
You really sound like you're doing well!! I, and likely others here, know what you mean about having the worries of what you've passed on to your children. It's really good to see that you're gaining a perspective that is positive.
Just tonight, a little while before I checked back in here, I had begun to go down the exact road you just wrote about. I wondered if my son (and even my older girls) would be better off without this defective Mom. I did challenge that thought and by the grace of God was able to get myself out of that frame of mind.
Logging on and seeing your post gives me hope that I will be able to move on to the more normal worries once again and not these horrible thoughts I've had lately.
Like a lot of you out there I am married and have children.
I had children while at a good moment in my life. I did not believe that I would give them any of my family genes not my dysfunctionals upbringing.
While I was in a bad spot, I wondered about the BAD genes. I wondered about the horrible legacy that my family gave me and that I would forward to my children ... anti-social personality, bipolar, OCD, diabetics, cancers, alcoholics/narcotic, etc. And there was the neglect and the horrible upbrinbing I had... what would I do to the tiny things that the Great Mother would entrust to me. What kind of mother could I hope to be? I wondered If they would be better with the insurance money and motherless with a wonderful Father only... and it hurt ... but I wondered. I even thought about the the next step once or twice in the cold darkness of the middle of the night ...
And now I have the normal worries of any parent... orthodontist in three years and braces ... swim, dance, rock-climbing, and other classes for the fall ... and what about school somewhere in there? Pool/parc/plage... and rest?
I guess I still wonder what kind of parent I am but not with that sence of urgency. And it is not with the life and death sentences. It is not all or nothing. I see that there are three colours now Black, white and one Gray. Maybe I'll learn about that thing called shading
I think it is great how you want to figure things out and how you want to find a way to navigate the ups and downs of life. I also think it is great how you want to find ways of expressing yourself. Self expression is a great tool. Anyway, please keep us posted.
