Yes that dream hadquite an effect on me because it forced me to examine something I do not want to examine. I know my cat is not doing so well. I do not want to do therapeutic harrassement on the poor cat just because I love him and don't want to lose him. Yet, I am afraid to give up on him too soon. So I called my vet and they said I should bring him in to have a check up and they can help me figure out how he is. I have been avoiding doing that because I am afraid they will ask me to have him put down for his own comfort. Man this is hard to write. I can't stop crying now. At the same time it feels nice to be able to say this somewhere. I am not ready to let him go. But sometime sI am afraid he toughs it out 'cause he senses I am not ready. I know I have to let him go if I truely love him. At the same time, I don't want to give up on him before he is ready to go. Some people talk of cats as its, for me my cat is a him. He is my best friend and has been for the last 13-14 years. and he is the best cat ever. He is so sweet. And now I don't know how to deal with this. The vet says to bring him in and they can most likely help him and I will. But I am afraid they can't help him. He won't eat. I want him to be ok but he is not. I want to give him what he needs. To me he is more then just a silly cat. I am hurting. This dream reminded me that I cannot delude myself. He is not doing well and if he doesn't get better I will have to say goodbye but I am not ready. I am so scared and sad and lost and confused.
Truth is this has been bothering way more then I care to admit and it weighs on me a lot. I will bring him to the vet.