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is life fair?


for 19 år siden 0 57 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Bob, Thank you. How are you REALLY doing? I sometimes can't tell. Keep on writing though. I appreciate what you have to say. You have lots of good ideas. I am now exercising again thanks to you!
for 19 år siden 0 283 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
i got a lot out of these postings thanks bob
for 19 år siden 0 57 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
thank you for this last message. It is so easy to forget especially when we are suffering from a clinical depression that we are the only ones responsible for our feelings in that we are really the only ones who can change them. We also must remember that taking responsibility and accepting guilt and feeling to blame are not the same thing at all. It's like falling down. We may have been pushed or we may have tripped but only we can heal our skinned knees. No other body can do that healing for us no matter how fair that is or not so we are responsible for healing our own skinned knee. For years I equated "accepting responsibility" with ""being at fault" and they are two very different things.
for 19 år siden 0 32 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Sorry for this one, but I just had to add something. You can't just ask this question in seperation from all else. If you ask whether life is fair because of this or that (like losing a child, like being abused) it is taking our power away. In saying that I mean that we are putting blame on someone else for the way we feel. If we don't accept responsibility for our feelings (not what happened to us, but what we feel about it) we will never be healed.
for 19 år siden 0 6 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi, the topic catch my attention and just decided to add in my side of story. It's always the question i've been asking myself: Is life being fair to me? Very often, i would be tempted to answer 'no' when it comes to comparing myself with few close friends of mine. I always like to compare. And often, i compare in areas that i lose out. But then again, i realize i do not deserve to say a loud no when i know that all i need to do is just a few clicks on the internet or quick glance on the newspaper to find pools of unfortunates out there. So what am I? A poor **** hanging in the middle, just stuck in the streams of life neither happy nor unhappy, lucky nor unlucky. Honestly, instead of revelation, this sounds more pathethic to me. But there's deeply one point that i can be proud of out of the daily blues, is that i have depression that none in my social circle has. And that's why they don't understand. A consolation in the pain, somehow. :)
for 19 år siden 0 57 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Dear LadyBlue, It helps me if I think or at least try to think about my situation, (ie.how I'm feeling,how depressed I think I am etc. only in one day increments.) As difficult as it is this way I know that the day will be over in only a few hours and I can get through that much. That is not to say I always feel that depressed but when I do it helps not to project too much out into the future or just the coming week. It works better for me if I ask myself what I can do right this minute to feel better. If I can't come up with anything at all I try to be especially gentle with myself and tell myself that's o.k.. I would say the same to a friend. It's o.k. to feel the way I'm feeling because:"that's the way that I feel!" I also remind myself this feeling will pass and that it won't last forever. Also I have made a list of things I can do when depressed to help me feel better and I keep it with me because it is almost impossible to remember them while depressed. I find writing to this website helpful for example because there is no pretence involved. I can be myself and it's o.k.! I am still an all right person. Hope you feel better soon. Trisha
for 19 år siden 0 283 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
ladyblue thanks for your reply...yep this site helps me think...as i type it absorbs my attention and for a little while i an not tired or depressed. take care bob
for 19 år siden 0 84 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
hi Bob, Do you use this message board to think to yourself? Does writing down your musings help? Is life fair? I think that is a very subjective question. I know that sometimes from the outside it seems like some people have "charmed" lives. I have a cousin like that. He's a wonderful person who seems to have it all together. But I guess we don't really know what goes on in another person's private life and in their mind. Some days my answer to that question would be NO! It isn't fair. It isn't fair that you lost your daughter so young. It isn't fair that my father did horrible things to me. But I once heard someone on TV who had suffered many major losses in her life. The interviewer asked her if she ever asked "Why me?" She answered, "No. Why NOT me? Should I wish this on someone else?" The hardest thing for me about depression is how tired I get. Sometimes I want to just give up and give in. I've heard of so many people who fight and struggle with this illness for many, many years and still end up taking their own lives. Sometimes I think maybe it's inevitable. Why keep fighting it? Then I think of my son and know that I don't have that choice. But some times I just don't know if I have it in me to keep going. So that's what I think about on weekends. How I'm going to muddle through the coming week. How I'm going to try to see those good things when they come and hang on to them for dear life. take care lb
for 19 år siden 0 283 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
hello Is life fair....the simple answer may be "no". however perhaps we are fotunate to have been born into a prosperous society during a prosperous period in history....and no matter what our situation, we are fairly well taken care off relative to other societies. does any of this matter when we are depressed?...no nothing seems to matter.. perhaps we might wish we were dead... that's the strange thing about depression, its so irrational,illogical..... frustrating. we find it difficult to appreciate the good things in life. just some "off the top of my head" thoughts on a quiet day...any comments? bob

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