Hello again Heather and Anne Marie,
Thank you for replying. Heather, I totally understand what you mean when you say you feel as if you can't get past this thing. I feel like that too, and it makes me feel a bit better to know I'm not alone. I think that especially when you are suffering with depression too it is hard to see the bigger picture and day-to-day there never seems to be improvement.
Having said all that, I also think that although it feels worse at the moment it might mean it is getting better, because we are facing the things which haunt us. Imagine that as time goes by and it gets easier, it will be because you are finding peace, rather than hiding the past from yourself.
I think in both our situations, although we have been through vastly different things, the question of how to recover must be similar if not the same, and although the things we have seen and been through will never leave us, there must be a chance that we can come to some kind of terms.
I hope you start to find some peace soon, and I hope that you feel better reading this as I have made myself feel better writing it. Is that selfish? I hope it makes ense anyway.
Anne Marie, thank you for your welcome. I have been to other boards and I feel there is a really healing atmosphere here, as the emphasis is on making yourself do things rather than letting the depression beat you. It is hard, but I promise I will try to keep my spirits up while I am talking on here.
In answer to your question, my mom has thought of moving for my sake but I keep talking her out of it. You see the house is not just where they died. My brother and I were babies here, we grew up in this house. It might sound silly considering what I have talked about to want to stay here, but I keep thinking that one day it will be better and I will feel good here again.
I suppose I am saying that there are friendly ghosts here too. There are 24 years of good times here, christmas as kids, learning my bro to read, family parties and water fights in the garden... <<>> The time they died was one week, and although it will never go away, it might one day get itself into perspective. Does that make any sense?
Pip :)
