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11 years and counting

Timbo637

2024-10-31 6:49 AM

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Feels like hell week all over!!

Timbo637

2024-10-30 9:38 AM

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Roller Coaster Withdrawal

Timbo637

2024-10-14 12:28 PM

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Smile....and don't shoot the messenger

Timbo637

2024-09-27 3:17 PM

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Small Steps Equal Success


for 11 år siden 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I'll make no bones about it, I don't like spoilt animals and this includes horses but since no one tries to bring their horse into a store it doesn't bother me as much. I don't like spoilt people either. I've owned a lot of dogs and never been bit. And I won't be either. There is a lady that carries her dog around the store and tries to shop one handed. It isn't a service dog it is her baby. It yaps and snarls at me and to be honest if she dropped it and it tried to bite me I'd kill it before it could. So if I see her car outside the store I wait till she leaves. Better than dealing with a spoilt stupid person. Every sale counts so they let her bring her dog into the store. Last I knew being drunk and stoned and falling off a roof breaking your neck doesn't qualify you for a service dog, not that hers even remotely qualifies. People will use any excuse to get their way and then they wonder why people don't like them. If she was broke down on the side of the road I can't imagine stopping to help her and chancing getting bit. Just the same as if I visit and get met by a barking dog I won't visit again. Bad enough idiots are in places of authority without sharing it with their dogs. 
As you can see I have strong feelings about this. 

A service dog for anxiety? That is like benzo's, treating the symptoms, not the cause and causing more problems in the end.

Davit 
for 11 år siden 0 2508 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I like winging it too. I can show up for appointments when scheduled with difficulty, but that is about as far as it goes for me...
 
As for yesterdays progress. We went out into the masses twice yesterday and I proved that I can take it again..Good for me I guess?
 
First we went out for a little exercise at the swap meet..I found two little nick knacks.
On the way out I stepped in some dog dropping and slipped and almost broke my neck. Thank god I didn't fall and break a hip. I was so upset that on my way to the car I stopped and filed a compliant with assistant manager. Asking them to stop allowing dog into the swap meet. It is too crowed with people to have them there with their leashes clotheslining everyone, there could also be a dog fight or some child could get bit, not to mention me slipping and falling in their dog ****, plus it is also to hot for the animals and burns their pads walking on the hot blacktop..This is something they have been doing for about a yea at the swap meet. It does get worse this last Fridaywhile shopping at our local Walmart there was a young male shopping in the store with his pit bull, so called disabled people are now allowed to take the dogs in the stores, restaurants and everywhere. They are calling them service dogs for the mentally or emotionally disabled, people with anxiety issues panic issues and god knows what else can now take there dog everywhere just like people who are Blind..So all kind of people are getting themselves permits to do this..Of course it doesn't matter if it causing me or someone else to have anxiety/panic while shopping in the store we have to appease the few and make everyone else miserable. I told this manager at the swap meet  that I knew a bit about anxiety and ptsd and I do not need a dog to be here neither did my last veteran husband who had ptsd. His reply was he probably needd one..Well it go uglier and uglier..and  he and I went round and round on it did got a lot uglier. So I turned around and we left and came home to wash my shoes. I had planned on stopping to look for shoes on the way home.
 
Next after we cooled off it was in the 90's we went out into the masses again, Looking for a pair of black shoes to wear to my Dr. and dentist appts.There were tons of women in the shoe dept, they were like ants. After 3 hours of bending and stooping and trying to read the sizes on shoe boxes I finally left empty handed..Most of the women were very calm really and controlled so that part was fine, then towards the end comes this mother and pregnant daughter team with one in a stroller and one on the way. They came down the aisle I was in like bulls in a china cabinet, I tried to get out of their way but didn't make it in time..In my hurry to escape I rammed my toes into a shelf. Ouch and decided that it was time to call it quits for the day because I was injured this time..
 
This my example of how things don't always goes as planned. No matter how well thought out the plan.Life is full of surprises and challenges..That it in a nut shell..
 
Red..
for 11 år siden 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
One Saturday I just winged it and felt great, so I might try this more often.  It's like when we have a blackout and appreciate not having what we "think" we need, which is marketed to us.
for 11 år siden 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I remember sitting in a restaurant and overhearing a friend at another table say "if you don't get anything done before noon you won't." That may be true for him, but not everyone. My morning often starts at noon. In fact I may do little in the morning other than to start bread and have breakfast. I also might as, this summer, still be working when it got dark.
When I can't figure which thing to do first I clear my mind by doing none of them or doing something that wasn't planned. I soon get back to them which is why I was making Sauerkraut late last night after spending the afternoon out side. Like this morning, I'm going to start bread and I'll go to the store sometime but laundry is the actual chore for the day. The optional chore is vacuuming but I may stack more firewood instead. No lists to follow except a mental one. I should braid the onions and hang them up now that they are dry but they are under the wood cook stove and not in the way. For me lists don't work other than to let me know what has to be done some time. I probably won't follow them anyway because half the time weather or something else gets in the way.

Davit
for 11 år siden 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I've listed the small steps for projects, and feel more of the regimentation my wandering mind, which can be like a stallion in a corral, needs.
 
This morning, I couldn't decide what to do, since I was exhausted after construction noise all week, hitting too many walls, and grinding my teeth.  Then I realized my mom needs nail care, and I got scattered.  I tried this poem.
 
When I don't know what to do,
let do what love requires.
If I cannot make a choice,
let me do the next small thing.
Step by step show me the way
from one small act to the next.
For in these small acts of love
your Spirit's light will guide me.
for 11 år siden 0 2508 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I am still working on those Small Steps to Success.
 
Goal Setting and Exposure Planning anyone?
How about you?  How is this step going for you? 
Feel free to share your journey and this thread with me when you are ready..
 
Red
 
for 11 år siden 0 2508 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
First trip to the office supply store in 15 years...Still working on those steps.....and my Goal
 
We ventured out yesterday with the masses to run some errands..I though I was finished copying my medical record but no such luck. I still had some covering 2005 to 2012 and did tell the new doctor I would bring what I had. He said he would like to see them and it would helpful.
 
Anyway it was slowing going on my printer so I walked into a office supply store yesterday and asked what the cost would be to have them do it for me. They said I would have to leave my records for 24 hrs. if the did it or I could do it myself on their self serve machines..Funny they weren't doing anything really..
 
Anyway we drove home and went back and basically taught ourselves how to use their machine, they were to busy doing nothing again and helping the customer seems to be a dirty word these day. So we figure it out ourselves and did have to get a little demanding and insist they help a couple of times. When we got down to our last 2 pages and the machine had a paper jam..I rescued my last two pages thank God and made some remarks about pretty soon will won't need clerks here anymore to help us just like the stores with their self check out and that it really is easier to do it yourself anyway..Well the clerks stop visiting with each other one of them walked over and shut of the machine, copied my last two pages for me on her machine and spoke with their boss..Seem that if the machine jams your get your print job for free..The job only took us 20 minutes to do ourselves. So today we are going to go and run off another 200 copies..
 
I spent a hour last night getting another batch in numerical order by date and will later get them ready to put in binders after I  do all the 3 ring hole punching on them..I am making a binder for myself and a binder for the doctor..
 
So I feel good about the progress I am making. I am getting there one small step at a time..and will soon have this part ready for next week appointment..It is a useful distraction at the moment..and takes my mind off some of the anxious thoughts of our first meeting..Getting ready in small steps like this really helps me a lot...
 
By time next Thursday gets here I should be much more comfortable with the idea going to my first appointment.
 
Red..
 
for 11 år siden 0 2508 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Today I am at home, making copies of some of my medical records in preparation for some exposure work next week. I have a appointment to meet with a new primary care doctor next week. So this week I am taking more small steps each day so that I can leave the house and get there.... 
 
That is my goal for this week...
 
 
Red..
 
for 11 år siden 0 2508 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Sorry I had a couple of typo's as usual in my last post..I had two docs call me with 15 minutes of each other and from different clinics..Looks like they both want me for a patient now..Oh well..I am going to give the new one a try. I have put way to much work into changing now to go back now..I didn't tell the old doc I am leaving him for a older doc, man. I don't want to burn any bridges just yet..I might end needing the young old after all. Who knows.
 
Anyway to make a long story short..The calls came in when I was writing my last post so I had to post it without proof 'reading it. I would have gotton timed out by the site again and didn't think I was up to typing it again..So it still isn't perfect and neither am I for that matter even with corrections below so I hope that everyone reading here can read between the lines on this one and probably all of my future posts for that matter. :):)
Anyway my second to last sentence in my previous post was suposted to say " On thing I do have be very mindful of is self care and that I get enough down time and rest from the forums too..I will do my best to help where and when I can.
 
I have notice that my brain fog is getting worse this days and writing with perfect grammer and spelling is getting much harder..So please bare with me and try to be patient when reading my postings..After all I am getting to be a old lady now so try to go easy on this old lady..
 
Red..
for 11 år siden 0 2508 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Davit,
 
Thanks for being happy for me..It does make a difference knowing you care..
 
You are right you do read the posts and you are almost always the first one to answer 99.9% of the time and I want you to know I appreciate you and what you do here for me and everyone else both old and new to the site and forum..
 
I do try to read all the posts. If I think it has a subject that might me to much for me or if I am to exhausted then I do have to pass on some of the posts sometimes. When I am here but I do not always answer them all because I don't know what to say and would not know how to advise..From now on I am going to try to at least let the person posting know I have read there post and wish them well..Even if that is all I can say it still is word of encouragment  showing that I can. One thing I do have to be very mindful of is self care and that I get enough down time and read from it all too..I will to my best to help where and when I can..
 
Red..
 

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