This is the peculiar mental twist the book AA talks about throughout the book. The mental inconsistencies: I should be able to handle a couple after a period of abstinence, drinking lite michelob ultra is actually good for your health, or my doctor adviced me a glass of wine every day is good from my heart. We all know we dont stop with just a couple.
Thanks, ND! Yes, that AV certainly has a bad case of FOMO (fear of missing out). The rest of what you say is spot on as well. I agree that the bad does not totally undo the good - just have to get back at the good, and learn what we can from the misstep.
Hi SPMW! Isn't it funny how we plan for those opportunities to get **** faced? The only "good day". I think our AV is very smart. Think about it....we can become so trained to drink at various occasions that it's almost like automatic to do so and then our brain and AV go into over drive to make sure we don't miss that opportunity. It's a habit. We drink, because that's what we've always done....we drink because we want to fit in....we drink because we need to relax. That's the best one...I used to say it made me relax. When as you mentioned feeling bad today--it's really not relaxing it's setting us up to have the flu basically. It's ruining the rest of the next 2 or 3 day's. And we really only relax for like the first 2 or 3 then it's game on and it's almost like a predatory drive to see how much we can consume. If you look at today as feeling small or stupid or a restart day then I think it's self defeating. Look at today as a learning experience. You have to do what you have to do to get where you need to be. You can do this SPMW!!
I figured it was too soon to make it through vacations without drinking at all, and that I'd be kidding myself to even try. Especially with a road trip planned involving multiple stays with people who've long known me to be a gregarious, harmless social drinker, and a wedding to attend. So I had planned to let myself drink within reason where called for.
Yesterday however I let my AV talk me into getting ****faced as it was going to be the only 'good' day out of this vacation to do so (nobody else around, no commitments or obligations). I am feeling stupid, small and rather lousy this morning. I guess the positive news is that there will be no other 'good' occasions to get ****faced alone for the remainder of the vacation, although there will be several occasions on which moderate drinking in company will be the norm.
I had put in a good 15 day stretch without a drop prior to the start of the vacation. There were a few times when it was not easy, but overall it was not too hard and felt great. Have to get back at that asap - I want more of that feeling.
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